Semester 1 coming to an end...
Or should I say Semester 1 had ended???
Well, teaching period is over. The coming week will be a SWOT Vac aka study week. For your information, SWOT=Strength, Weakness, Opportunity, Threat!!! Management 101, people! Then comes exam month...
Phew~~~ Time really flies man... In fact, quite a number of my friends here in Melbourne, to mention few, in no particular order, Glorie, Siew, Hao Ern, Jey Sern, Veronica, Cai Qin, Weng Kiat, etc, these people are graduating next year. Oh My Gosh! For me, there's like another 2 more years to go! But they will be attending graduation then searching/hunting for works or even go in post-grad studies!
Not forgetting, a lot of my buddies in Malaysia are graduating also... It's like all people will be getting a job then earning their own bucks and in contrast, me, still studying, rushing assignments and spending parents money! Cant imagine that seriously!
I think I'm getting away too far... Btw, I really had a good outing on friday night. Went to this Japanese restaurant on Toorak Road, near Chapel Street, to have dinner with some of my Business & Economy in SEA tute mates and their friends. They are all nice people, really enjoyed the food and the chat as well. Then, went back to the city for drinks in Manchestar Lane, a Jazz Bar I supposed, nice music they have, despite it's slightly noisy for chating.
Anyway, gotta go back to reading the materials needed for my IAT essay now. Super lag behind time edi...
Til then.... Jia You for exams everyone!
Trying to get out of the blues...
LOLz... I somehow decided that I'm not going to think about this anymore. I had tried everything that I can to see whether my marks can be improved, but sadly all in vain. But, I'm relieved, at least I know that really nothing can be done anymore. (I talked to my tutor & called my lecturer k, and yet they didnt do anything. I believed if there is seriously room for my marks to be upgraded, they'll do it, because one of my friend's is upgraded.)
So, life have to go on anyway... Let the bygone be bygone... (I doubt how long will this take?)
Forget about this and pia/chio for final exams! Aza Aza Fighting! Kambateh! Jia You! Teruskan Usaha! Whatever la...
Perhaps this is fated la... Or it's a lesson for me to not be over-confident at times and dont be a last minute 'hero' anymore?
Had been not productive at all since Tuesday and I'm not letting this to continue ruining my life. I must at least start to read the sources for my essays and return the books because people requested them. Argh... But again, I wonder when I'll start?
I'm complicated...
Blues...
I'm still in the blues now, trying my very best to get over it...
I seriously wanna get over it faster and forget about it, so that I can get my hands on other more important stuff. The fact that I was down and upset, make me so demotivated to do anythings. =_= This is me... Easily destracted and highly emotional... Cant help!
I even begin to doubt whether management is my cup of tea, because I dont seems to do well in it. Argh... I dont know...
I sms-ed mum and ask her to call back because I wanna 'teh' her... Hehe... Children are always children, trying to seek for parents attentions, no matter how old are they... LOLz...
Mum told me not to give myself too much pressures and just try the best that I can. Very glad to hear that from her... I told her that I was so upset over the 'P' grade that I got for my Business & Economy in SEA assignment and she say as long as it's pass, it's okay already. I know she is trying to comfort me so that I dont feel so bad or perhaps she knew that I had this high expectations (which obviously made me feel so bad at this moment!), anyway I'm quite relieved after chating with her despite still feel upset.
Mum is such a great mother. She never want us to get number 1 in class or score 100% for our exams, she always say she'll be happy if we tried our best. She never give us pressure like other parents will do (no offence!!!) and I know she just want us to be healthy and happy. Perhaps, she just hope us to be healthy and now I that I rethink, me as her daughter, never even fulfill such a simple wish of hers, make me feel guilty. =_= Mummy, from now on, I'll keep myself heathly, will go join Fitness First after my exams, and keep fit!
Well, have to stop here, because of me emo-ing all the time, from the moment I got back the assignment til now, whole one and half days, I end up didnt do anything that I supposed to be doing. Not productive at all on the Inventing Asian Traditions essay, not even my tute work for tomorrow.
So, people, pls pray for me that I can get over all these soon and do better for other assessments!
Til then...
The D factor
Well, in case some of you dont understand what the title means... It means that I'm currently in a state of Depression, Dissapointment, Demotivation, and Down-ness.
I freaking get a P for my assignment. Damn sad la... I have such a high expectation in this Business & Economy in SEA subject and I got a P for the 25% assessment. Damn it!!!
So, the moral of the story, Dan Dan's quote of the day : "The greater the expectation, the greater the dissapointment!". Dont expect too much, so that you wont get hurt/upset so much. [Evidence to back up: some management/marketing theory --> when real result exceeds expectation, people will get satisfactions.]
I never get a P (range from 50-64%) before in my entire Uni life, although it's a short one (1 & half year). I always thought a H3 will be the lowest score I'll get in Uni but now...see what had happen to me!
He (my lecturer, I knew he marked it!) commented that I didnt do adequate amount of research, I was like... What the Fxxk! There's a few of my sources where he considered not primary sources but in fact I think they are! Then in my bibliography, he stated that I only got 2 primary sources which I think it's so not true. I dont know...just speechless..
Of course, there are comments he made that I agreed with, whereby I didnt really relate my stuff back to the question, but do these mistakes cost me a P???
Argh... This is so Destructive man! Make me feel miserable only...
I think I need some kind of help from some Deity... I feel things just dont go smooth recently for me. I got a H3 for my 50% Chinese Politics assessment and then lost one piece of crystal bracelet that I like very much last Tuesday and now a P for the subject which interest me most...
Disaster!!! All the bad lucks or evils or demons, please go away from me! I beg for your kindness!
Sleepyhead In Action
Literally, I slept the whole weekend sleeping and watching dramas. =_=
I still have one final essay for Inventing Asian Traditions to go, which is due on the 4th, 2 weeks from now, but I yet to start. I started reading the books though but guess what? I fell asleep after reading several pages. I started reading one of the 8 books I borrowed from library on Saturday noon and still yet to finish half of the book by now. =_=
I think I must be suffering from some kind of sleeping disorders because I woke up at like 11am something in the morning and yet I still can fell asleep at about 2-3pm after my lunch. Then I dont feel sleep at night, when it's supposed to be the time to sleep, only feel sleepy at about 4-5am. So of course the second day, I'll wake up at about 10-11am and the pattern continues. So crappy rite??? =_=
Btw, I'm again defeated when it comes to drama series. I had been watching this TVB series called "Land Of Wealth" recently. Talking about banking industry in the Qing dynasty... Erm...I think I cant stand the temptation to watch episode 23 after this... *Evil grins*
Isnt I supposed to be doing the reading for my esssay? Sigh... =_=
Update on my Uni stuff...
I'm left with two assignments, one is QM2 group assignment due 2mr which is almost done, and another one is Inventing Asian Traditions essay due on 4th June.
My exams are:
8th June --> QM2
13th June --> Chinese Politics & Society
15th June --> Business & Economy in SEA
I really have to work very hard on all these in order to get good marks! QM1 final exam was a disaster and I dont want history to repeat.
I did so badly in my Chinese Politics essay. I got a H3 for the essay which weighed 50% of my overall grade. Fuck rite? I must work extra hard in this subject because I cant afford scoring any lower than H3 in my Uni life, I cant!!!
Business in SEA is my favourite subject in the two years of my uni. Seriously, I like it so much, give me a real taste of what I always expect in commerce subjects. It is so interesting and realistics, unlike those boring Management theories. That's why I must score really well in this subject.
I must not dissapoint myself and I wanna make my family proud of me. I have yet to get a H1, ie high distinction in Uni, I'm hoping to get one this time. So, I'm keeping my finger crossed for my Business in SEA report to be returned on next week. It was such a last minute product but I really put in efforts, hope it'll be fine.
Til then...
Week 11
Finally, after leaving this blog untouched for so long (about 1 month...), I decided to write something here.
I always know that nothing in this world is predictable or can be forseen. Changes can happen anytime wihout even you aware of it.
True enough! I forgotten what was my last blog entry about, probably was my rant about uni workloads, assignments. Well, well, well, here comes week 11, the next week will be the end of semester 1. Gosh! It was like so fast! I'm still not prepared for exams yet, as always...
Yea... A month ago, I was excited by the idea that mum will be visiting me during the winter break. I already started to plan where to bring her around at that time. But now, something really sad happens... My maternal Grandma is dignosed with colon cancer, 3rd stage. Well, again prove that nothing is predictable, especially health.
My God...cant stop my tears from dropping whenever I came across this topic... I lost my dad when I was 7 years old. He past away because of cancer. I knew from my mum & aunts that dad met a not-so-good doctor and they said this contributed to his dealth. I'm not very sure about the whole story but I knew that the doctor wasnt quick enough to dignose that dad illness is cancer and of course those delays in treatment caused dad his life. Also because the medical development 14 years back, was not as advance as today. Back then, you dont have these huge amount of health supplements you have nowadays as well.
I always wondered if dad were still around today. Will we live a different life today? For one thing I'm sure, he get to witness the important moments of my life and well as Eric's. He can attend my graduations, celebrate my birthdays... But, that just wont happen.
When my 4th aunt was dignosed with cancer 3 years ago and my uncle also in last year, my family were in sime kind of nightmare again. Sometimes, I will question myself, is it because we did something really wrong in our previous life and accumulated such bad karmas until so many people in the family got cancer? I dont know... But I'm so glad that they both survived and are health today. I always pray for all my family members health when I went to pray my dad and I want to ensure that everyone of them are always in good health.
I know mum is very sad now, perhaps helpless too. A woman who went thru the suffering and lost her husband 14 year ago, once again have to face with such bad situation. As her daughter, at a far away land from her, I found myself helpless too. I so wanted her to come Melbourne and visit me because I miss her so much, but then I dont think she'll enjoy the trip due to grandma's illness.
So, the only thing I can do now is keep myself healthy and dont fall sick. Mum is always worried with our health because there's so many people in the family who suffered from cancer, high blood pressure, diabetics etc. As you know, family history is one of the factors to these illness.
I'll pray for my grandma's recovery...
