Stress...very very stress
I dont know how describe my situation now. In some deep shit I supposed. I got 1 assignment of 1500 words which due on Monday and I havent written 1 single word. The most important thing is I got no idea how to do it. Haih...
There's one point where I feel like dissapear from this world and hence I dont have anything to do with assignments or tests or exams or whatever crap that Uni have to torture students like me. I also feel like give up and let myself fail, but I just cant do it. I cant afford to do that. I tell myself I must finish it no matter how. I hope I can....
That day, K mak called and she mentioned about me going to find a part time job again. Then I told her I'm too busy with uni work load and she just cant understand my situation. Haih... She said many people asked her why didnt I work. I was like who are those busy body/'pat gong'/'pat poh' to ask me that question. Even my mum didnt ask me to do so... Pls la people... That's none of your business, ok? Dont bother about people's children working part time or not because that's seriously nothing to do with you! It's not that if I go find a part time job, you will get my pay. As if you can be benefited from anything if I work. Very pissed off!
I also feel like feeding myself instead of getting money from my parents but I just dont think I'm capable of that at this point of my life. I kind of cant cope with my Uni stuff already, how to go work part time??? Dont compare other people with me! I'm myself, nothing to do with others. Other people can work part time during their uni years has nothing to do with me. I also wonder why they can do so, because I just feel I'm too busy, stuffed up with work at times when I dont even have enough rest or sleep. Or perhaps Melb Uni got extra work? I just dont know but people pls dont force me!
Enough of ranting for now. I hope God exist to give me some insprirations for my essay!
Til then...
Slacking
I have to admit that I'm a very lazy person. I have so many of assignments and they are due in like 1-3 weeks time, and yet I'm still slacking here.
I didnt do much thing today, wake up at about 11am something I think, then watch a little bit of Happy Feet and The Myth. Then just chill in my room for no purpose til like noon time. Read the question for QM2 assignment then fell asleep. Then watch HK series + the 1st episode of another Taiwan series, then cook and eat my dinner, and now I'm blogging after surfing thru all the blogs that I read.
I dont know like when I'm going to start on my QM2 assignment seriously... Also I feel like watching the Taiwan series now.
I'm such a lazy person, had been slacking since Uni restart and now with this many of assignments, I'm still slacking.
Sigh.... Sad right???
Stress on Stress
I'm super stress can?
I just realise the fact that I got a QM2 online MCQ test on 2-4th April, and my Business & economy in SEA class presentation is on the 5th April. This pretty much sum up that I'll be super busy from 29th March til 12th April. All the assessments are due during this period. Damn la....
I seriously wanna give those people who say Uni life is easy bla bla bla, a tight slap. Uni life is super busy + demanding lo.... I feel very very stress because of all the assignments & assessments.
I'm now stuck in a room which have no exit, I wanna escape from all these craps!!!
Super stress
I resolved my laptop problem after sending it to the shop. It cost me $290, I know it's expensive if compared to what they'll charge in Malaysia, but I got no choice except to pay. Sad la...
Apparently, my hard disk spoilt, so I changed a new 40gb hard drive and purchased one programme called One Care, something that include anti virus, anti spyware, firewall, etc. Well, well, well, it's considered sunk cost by now, so as a rational decision maker I am, I decided not to talk about it anymore. Hopefully I wont...
Btw, I feel like pengsan now. I got like 4 assignments on my hand right now, one for each subject. And they due like real soon, 29 March, 2 April, 4 April & 12 April, and the point is I havent started any of them yet. I can already feel the stress when my Business & economy in SEA lecturer showed the slide about assignment one this morning. Seriously, I didnt expect it to due so soon, probably I slack too much since Uni restart. Haih...
I feel like watching drama now although I should instead start on my pile high assignments. It's just me la...
So, til then.
Helpless
I felt extremly helpless at this moment... My laptop broke down, I reckon the problem is severe because it cannot be restart at all.
Something that I'm very afraid of finally happened at some very wrong time. I got assignments due like real soon, QM2 assignment due on 29 March, ie like in 1 week plus time, Inventing Asian Traditions essay due on 2 April, and Chinese Politics essay due on 12 April. I freak out when all these dates appeared in my mind, seriously. I'm scared that I cant finish all these on time because of the laptop issue and everytime I think of the problem, I cant control myself but cry.
I know you may say me being such dependent, weak or whatever, but I just feel the helpless inside me. I'm very down now, I got no idea what to do in this "strange land, I dont know how to solve the problem, I dont know which computer shop should I trust and send my laptop to, I'm very frightened of not getting all my files in my laptop recovered, I'm also scared of my portable disk drive might got problem too, and the list goes on... I'm very afraid of all these and the fact that they may be true.
I still a shoulder for me to cry on now. How I wish my dad is still around, but it's just a wish, no matter how hard I wish, it may not come true. Why? Why it's me? I just dont understand... Sometimes when my friends mentioned that their dad dont allow this and that, I'll feel a bit uneasy, that's a kind of feeling that words cant describe... I want my dad to make decisions for me, to help me on everything that I cant solve, to scold me, to nag me or anything. But I just cant get that as he is gone.
I never express to others such feelings of mine before. I know inside me, I'm an introvert. I dont know if anyone were to read this, but I just feel very helpless now.
God if you exist, please give me some directions, guidance, please...
Today is Chap Goh Mei.
So, here comes the last day of CNY. I didnt realise it since Melbourne reminds me nothing of CNY.
I am now unpacking my luggage, after one week I came back. I realised that I got a lot of stuff, and i couldnt fit them all nicely. My room is like shit right now, very messy with all my stuff all over the place. I actually took the stuff out of the small wardrobe I had here, so to rearrange them. I am so sick of small wardrobes and I think all girls should deserve having a walk-in-wardrobe. I promise myself that I'll get myself one when I buy my own house. Currently, have to figure out how to fit all my stuff neatly. I am very pissed off of people saying me untidy, I am not that bad ok?
Stayed over at May's place for the past two days. Friday night, had a good dinner with Hisa, May, John & Zhong Yong at Ye Shanghai. A bit expensive but I think it's all worthdid with the yummy Peking Duck. Later May and I went to join Joyce, Cydni, Adrian and Jerome for karaoke, which turned out to be a wrong choice initially. Hollywood Karaoke sucks, so damn hot with no air-con, limited song choice somemore, people in Melbourne, please dont go there! Damn expensive considering the services we got, $30 per person, I sort of regret going.
The next day, May got her apartment's furnitures delivered iin early morning. Buddy quite cham la, sleep in her apartment wihout bed for like 1 month. But then, the furnitures are not assembled like what they expected. And end up, she got me, Zhong Yong, John, Hisa, Yu Suk, and Jerome helping her and her sis out to assemble. So damn hard to assemble her study table I tell you, but it's very nice though. :P
Enough for blogging right now and I should really restart to tidying up my room for this moment.
Til then... Happy Chap Goh Mei/Chinese Valentines everyone...
